i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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