Kiss
Puke
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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