You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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