I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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