If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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