call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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