I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize