You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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