I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize