I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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