it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
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there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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