so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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