i would punch a child for taco bell
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
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I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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