i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
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I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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