she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
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I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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