...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
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I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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