Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize