I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize