he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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