I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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