she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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