I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize