I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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