my vag is so smooth its legendary
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize