ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize