# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize