I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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