you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize