I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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