I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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