dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize