he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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