PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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