Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize