and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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