i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
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Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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