She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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