turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize