you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize