I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Buhtt sex?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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