Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Every concussion has its silver lining
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize