he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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