I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize