I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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