Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize