Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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