the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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