Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
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