It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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