just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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